Beam Me Up, Scotty!

FINALS ARE TAKING OVER MY LIFE!!!!

I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I'll make it better by telling you the second Charles story in honor of my last final with him.  (It was an emotional class for all of us)

Episode Two:
The Fall of a Great Empire

But now we backtrack. Back way long ago to last Wednesday.  Last Wednesday marked a very special occasion for Charles, and it came up as we were waiting to get into the room.

So we are all standing in the hallway, Charles by the doorframe, me across the hall (which is very narrow) and some of our other classmates scattered about. And we began our usual banter of what are we going to do in class today.  When suddenly we hear a soft sign from Charles.

"What's going on, Charles?"

"Nothing, i just realized that this is my last class as an undergraduate."

[Immediate applause] And all of us began enthusiastically discussing how special we were going to make this class because Charles had to celebrate his last class as an undergrad.  So we asked him if there was anything special that he wanted to do (you know, besides a recitation of his paper on pomegranates) and someone mentioned (I'm not sure if I should take credit for this or not) that we could sing to him. And he said that we should sing to him the entire Odyssey.  Done.

Girl one: "Well damn, I just don't know all of the verses to that one."
Me: "That's ok, we'll work through it."
Girl one: "Alright, let's do it!"

At this point Charles was chuckling at our seemingly uneducated banter about ancient epic poetry, but that's ok. I'm much better at banter about epic poetry than singing it (though I've admittedly never really tried to sing epic poetry....) and this gave a prime opportunity to learn some things about this mysterious character.  Here is what I've gathered.

1) JCU is the largest school he has attended and he will graduate this spring
      (How is this possible? The graduating class is typically around 50)
2) For elementary and middle school he attended a small private school
3) In high school he was home schooled
     (NOW things are beginning to be explained)
4) He is working on his thesis in the spring.

Excellent. The pieces begin to come together.

So we go through class, and it was something about Alexander the Great (I finished this exam, it's all gone now) and then we had to fill out a class evaluation form (no, there wasn't a box for aliens present in class... I looked).  Well, by the time I had finished my thought on the paper, only Charles and I were left in the room.

Me: So Charles, now that you've survived your last class of your undergrad work, are you going to have a party in celebration?
Charles: Well, I don't know.
Me: Oh come on!  You've earned it!
Charles: I might have a party after I finish my thesis in the spring.
Me: See here's what you do. You have just a one night party for finishing your classes, then when you finish your thesis, you can have a whole week of parties.
Charles: [laughs] I don't know about that.
Me: Well, you don't have to have a big party, you can just find someone who cooks really well, and have them come cook for you. That works too.
Charles: Well, I don't need anyone to come cook for me. Actually, cooking is one of my greatest passions.
Me: That's perfect then! You can make yourself something special, and eat all of it yourself!  That'd be a blast!
Charles: Maybe I will.
Me: I've got to run, but congratulations again for surviving.  *high five*

And I left.

Immediate reactions: I-JUST-HIGH-FIVED-AN-ALIEN. Shortly followed by, of-course-he-cooks. And I-bet-he's-a-good-cook. And that-was-weird-but-sort-of-hilarious. And I-JUST-HIGH-FIVED-AN-ALIEN.

I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. I miss Charles already.

Greek things can be learned from Blogging right?

And here are the facts: There is no possible way to make ancient Greek Art and Archaeology interesting or fun to study. None. I've tried. And I'm sorry to say that but my attention span for such things is approximately 43 seconds... usually less, so I'm attempting to escape this drudgery with a blog about something related to Gaga....

You guessed it, Charles.

Hooray!  Let's talk about aliens and be merry! I have two Charles episodes to relate to you, and I will title them appropriately so that you may distinguish between the two.

Episode One:
The Love Potion

So for Gaga, we all had to write a term paper. Not a big deal (annoying as hell, but reasonable) and the week before they were due, everyone had to do a short presentation on the topic of their paper. Now unlike the presentations before, we all got to choose our topics for our paper as long as it fell under the umbrella of this course. Great! So everyone got to talk about something that interested them, and that's a lot more creative than just a regular topic.

So while everyone is presenting about some pediment on some temple somewhere, or on some mythological scene represented on some clay stuff, our dear friend Charles took everything to a whole new level.

Charles gets up in front of the class with a plastic bag and a powerpoint. Then he starts talking about pomegranates. Oh yeah, and he pulls a pomegranate out of the mysterious plastic bag. That's cool. So he's talking about all of the ancient uses for pomegranates like contraceptive, love potion, symbol of wealth, death, rebirth etc.

At this point he had only been casually tossing the pomegranate between his hands an occasionally flipping a slide, but suddenly he asks if anyone has actually tried a pomegranate.  Most of us had but he reaches to his belt and whips out a knife. (WHAT!?!) flicks it open and begins to cut open the pomegranate in his hand. Our professor (remember billy goat man from Ostia Antica? Yeah, him) says "Wow, I guess you don't mess with Charles." And then Charles starts to hand out pieces of pomegranate to the rest of the class so that we won't feel left out.

Keep in mind that out of a class of about 15 ish, there are two boys, including Charles. Now that everyone is munching happily on their piece of pomegranate, our professor chooses this exact moment to say, "hey, all of you girls eating this pomegranate have to marry Charles now."

Awkward laughter...

Charles blushes...

True, he had been talking about pomegranates as a love potion... but I'm not sure that was necessary...  I'm also not sure how I feel about marrying an alien....

After the end of his presentation, everyone proceeded to ask for a copy of his paper because it was actually interesting.

Pomegranates: doing work.

A+ for Charles.

The End.

Now I'm going to study some real Gaga, and post the second episode when I need another break... And with your luck may be very soon.

I'm going camping, and I'm bringing C-Rad

Things that make me happy: Receiving letters from my mother (with socks... Dobby much?) and MARIECUS.  It literally made my afternoon.  Not only was it soggy with sassiness, it was practically angelic prose. And I can't wait to respond.  It's already begun.

Part 2: Skyping with Sonja and Vanessa.  Separately, but wonderful all the same. It's like my life as it would be if I wasn't in Rome.

Part 3: Eating delicious Gnocchi made by Erica.  That means that I didn't have to cook. Yay!

Now for the real news of the day, and I've been thinking about this post for a large chunk of time. Honest.

I'm going to tell you a little story about Charles, and subsequently, my assumptions about all degree seeking students here.

Charles is in my Gaga class.  (That's Ancient Greek Art and Archaeology for those of you not paying attention) Charles is a fairly tall man with a full beard and often wears a beret when not in class. He is the kind of individual who will physically move a chair to the front and center of the room just so he can sit there. This also means that he is often the only one in the front row of a classroom. But far be it from me to criticize his enthusiasm for learning. As I was sitting down I peered over his shoulder and noticed that the header of his paper was written backwards. We're talking mirror image (including the formation of letters) with the title of the class. I figure, hey, he's been here for a while and got bored. Fine, whatever. We've all been that bored kid in church or homeroom. I get it.

This is where things get freaky.

Part way through class, I noticed that he was left handed. Ok, cool. I know some sweet left-handed people.  But I don't know anyone who... TAKES NOTES BACKWARDS! What!!?!?!?!?!  That's the most absurd thing I've ever seen in my life. Legitimately writes backwards. Think Leonardo da Vinci in English.  Except I don't think this Charles character is a genius... that I know of.

Speaking of good old Leo. In my Italian High Renaissance class (see what no nick name does? It makes you read all of that plus my asides. How not fun is that?) Professor Smyth (not a joke) talked about how Leonardo would follow the strange looking people all day just so he could sketch them when he got home. Awesome? Yes. Would he follow Charles? Probably. Is Charles an Alien? Very likely. (I feel like this entire thing could be filled out a la scantron.  A) Yes. B)Very Likely. C)Sometimes. D) Not Likely. E) No.)

But seriously, who takes pages (PAGES) of notes writing backwards!?!?!  Who? Only aliens do that. It's the only plausible explanation for this strange occurrence.  Like crop circles.  People? No way. Aliens? Almost certainly. This brings me to my degree seeking student bit. In this particular class, there are 3 (including Charles) current degree seeking students (this means that unlike the study abroad kids who are there for a semester/year, these people are there all 4 years.) And I think there are two freshmen who are degree seekers as well. I'm not really counting them because they are almost as clueless about JCU/Rome as the study abroad kids (side note on these two, one of them is literally named Chloe R. I'm never sure how to take this because we often sit next to each other. So my Chloe R, pay attention).  And if you throw Charles into that group of three, you have: A girl I can't understand who gave a presentation I couldn't understand with pen on her face, a girl who is supposed to be in multiple classes of mine and shows up late to all of them, if at all, and a degree seeking alien who takes notes backwards. By this point I just keep playing the "I'm going camping" game.  During one specific bus ride to somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Cadi took a turn and listed (and correct me if I'm wrong): light up shoes, radio towers, Natalie, that car, and her cat.  What can you bring camping? Anything that Cadi thought might have been an alien.  Well I'm going camping, and I'm bringing Charles.