Tuesday, November 1, 2011

How to pretend like you have friends, and they don't have to be imaginary.

This is a step by step instruction on how to get people to stare at you. To get people to NOT stare at you, you should not do these things. All very reasonable conclusions.

First, you should make sure that you have some kind of, I don't know, mannequin handy. Wait, the mannequin doesn't have to have hands, it just needs to be convenient. You could name it. That'd be fun. I happened to have one just sitting around the apartment, her name is Anne. Step one: Check!

Step two might include being crazy enough to say something kind of funny about going to take pictures with Anne, uh mannequin, in Rome.  Wouldn't that just be a hoot? Oh yeah, you betcha! Step two: Complete.

And then you might want to make sure that your roommate who you mentioned step 2 to (tutu) is both enrolled in several photography classes, and is equally crazy enough to take you up on it. Got to love it. Step 3: That happened.

And then you would precede to then grab Anne by the waist, and walk out the door.  This means taking a life size, hollow, humanoid inanimate object on public transportation, and through crowed streets. Step 4: DONE.

So if you follow these simple steps, you get looked at by people you don't know. If this sounds like your cup o tea, then do it. It's basically a blast. If you don't like these steps, you can also walk a very large dog. That'll work too.

I can tell you all of this because I completed steps 1-4 flawlessly. And consequently, Erica has lots of super snazzy pictures, and I got stared at a lot. Like, more than usual kind of a lot. (Yeah, and it's because I was carrying a mannequin, not because I look funny.) (Even I couldn't keep a straight face after that comment). And let me tell you, after being shoved in a corner and only occasionally mocked or referenced, Anne was loving the camera. Just working it like the inner diva she is. You go girl!

There was one point where Anne and I were leaning against a building while Erica was across the busy street taking pictures and there were tons of people walking by. And, due to Erica's artistic direction, I was kind of talking to Anne (bitch gave me the silent treatment) and people began to stop and look. Not just slow down to watch the crazy chick talk to her apparently traveling mannequin, but really stop.  Granted, most of the time it was only for a few seconds, but it was more than enough to send me into a fit of laughter. So those were good times.

And other than that little escapade, I've been completely unproductive. LIES, I booked tickets to Edinburgh and Dublin. So Vanessa, Claire, Ava, and (pretty please, I'll have your first born) Kaitlin--Here we come!  Well, in a few weeks. But still so close!  Yay!

And that concludes the adventures that occur on All Saint's Day. No school, but you can make a fool of yourself in public instead. And tomorrow's going to feel like a Monday-round two.

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