Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Sun'll come out- long after I wake up!

Let's hear it for the end of slam camp!!! Ok, tomorrow is the end end as the last of the poets make their way home on planes. Oh, planes you say? Yes, the earliest of the planes means that I am bringing 4 disgruntled students and Justin to the airport tomorrow at 4:45 am. That means, I'm going to bed. Right now. Now. Ok now. Now. NOW.

You get the point.

Also: Michelle, I will call you tomorrow. When I have the cognitive ability to hold a conversation.

Friday, June 29, 2012

We Are Slamily

Today-we slammed.

And tomorrow-we slam.

And then I drive all the people to the airport and sleep in a different dorm.

And then I wake up long before God does and do that again.

This is my weekend, and haters gonna hate.

But seriously, this slam camp has been incredible to watch. It's remarkable how invested each poet is in not only their own work, but in the work of every single other person there. I honestly believe that the instructors are learning just as much as the kids are and I can't wait to see what in the world these people are coming up with. Here in a year, you'll be hearing about them-rocking worlds and spitting words in the air. Incredible to witness, and incredible to be involved. I'm honored and humbled by the amount of talent and passion that has collected here at GAC for a few short days. Keep it up "Slamily," you will do great things.

In other news, I would like to welcome Spaulding and Ben to the letter leader boards. No one has taken a clear lead yet, so get those pens to cranking.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Themed Thursday: The Pitch

THEMED THURSDAY!!!!

I hope you got yourself pumped up for this-because I did. So I've been talking a lot about writing with slam camp and all. But here, Michelle and I have concocted a different sort of writing for this blog-off spectacular. It all started from this obsession we have with Mad Men. That means advertising, and that means a pitch (no, not the baseball kind... or for you extra stringent feminists out there- softball). So that's what we're doing. We're pitching you a pencil. The regular kind. You know, the one you learned to write with and then had to have in your pencil box all through elementary school? The familiar, sunshiny yellow friend that got you through handwriting books and in class assignments.  Those were the good old days. So here goes, I'm pitching and you're catching. Play ball!


There are a variety of ways we can take this-art work wise in the very least, and this mantra has the capability of branching from print to film with out another thought. In it's simplest form, the slogan is the thing.  The sheer imagination inherent in the product itself. This is the tool for any child, any person to draw, create, write, imagine, and enjoy. There is nothing new or remarkable, but this is the product of the American dream.  Simple tools to achieve great things. And the Yellow #2 Pencil is the thing to do it with. And all #2 Pencils have 35 miles worth of creativity. "Where will that write you?"




So although I'm by no means the best on the art team, I'm doing my best in dealing with the budget cuts. So please excuse the artwork until I lure someone more artistic than I back into the studio. I'm working with the simple tools supplied to me.

And that, concludes today. Boom.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Haiku Death Match

In order to make
this an interesting blog
I will write: haikus.

Mariecus, Ava
And I judged a slam haiku--
As in, to the death.

A violent battle
Judged by scarves of silent wit
A-shusha-shush-shush

The Great Oz will speak
And pantomime applause for
Silence is the rule

Endings can be hard
But humor is an asset
Squirrels and Werewolves thrive.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Mini Housewife

The Internet is being poopy so I'm speed blogging on my phone. It goes something like this: I make a pretty good mini quiche. Jealous yet? Here's a picture of the only one I could save before it was devoured by a hungry female.

Yeah, that good. I'll make a few adjustments for the next time- like buy muffin cups. But that's it. Family dinner is always a blast. I just love the idea and this whole potluck thing so much. We're a cool group, and we have some good times. Haters gonna hate, but I was proud to bring a pan of hot mini quiches outside and down to the heart of St Peter. Too damn bad.


Monday, June 25, 2012

I'd Give This Post a 8.1

Please welcome your JUDGES!!!!

Dats right. Mariecus, Ava, and I went to our first poetry slam. As judges.

Slam camp is swinging and these kids are already up and batting.  Well, sort of. They did some "Cover Slam" for us tonight. So basically they read someone else's poem with only 10 minutes of prep. Good, sure! Especially for some of them who haven't performed much. There are some who don't have any fear of audiences, but others are a little more cautious and they are bound to be learning all kinds of things here.

Just imagine what kind of environment this is fostering. A place where high schoolers can express themselves in their own words, then in a controlled, supportive place find their voice and get the encouragement and feedback that they crave. This is genius! And I've already bragged about the people working with them.  Holy smashed avocados (Get it?). It's going to be beyond epic. And I totally dig it.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Bet You Want My Job [Sunday Edition]

Let's hear it for the slammers! Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyyiyiyi!!!! That's not what they actually do, but for serious-there be some serious talent on the GAC campus this week. Holla. And I'm really excited to tell you all about the rhyme-spinning wizards that are be-boping around St. P for the week. I mean, let's be real, Strings camp was fun, but this is going to be off the heezy. (Is that how that's spelled? Running with it.)

Let's give you a little run down of all of the professional talent on campus. Here you go:

Sierra DeMulder: Transplant to Minneapolis, and is working word magic like this:





Next up is Cuban Hernandez. Coming all the way up here from farther south than me, and that doesn't mean anything because I'm just farther south than Minnesota. So there. 



And lastly, Adam Henze. I know Adam from some speech things, he tends to lurk around here and there and once in a while we see each other creeping from opposite corners. It's a good time.



So now that I've given you about an hours worth of putzing around on youtube having your mind blown from the sheer power of words, I'm going to go to bed and get some shut eye before a new day of stellar-awesome-word-bashing-fun begins.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Preparation for an Adventure

So there's a whole apartment full of people here, and I'm catching up on letters, and I'm covered in cat hair. That's living the dream. Right there. I hope you caught that. Living the brilliant, beautiful, dreamymcdreamerson dream.

Come at me.

And the real trick tomorrow will be the beginning of an adventure. And by beginning, I mean that we'll also be ending part of this adventure. So Justin (teammate and coworker) are going to drive to the Twin Cities for 2 reasons: 1) to have a Barnes and Noble attempt. That includes meeting some freshmen and looking for lit. And 2) Pick up the hopefully less awkward kids for the Slam Poetry camp. That's probably going to be stellar. And with any luck we won't get lost, we'll make it there on time, and we'll have a blast. Doable? Yes. Probable? Maybe less so. Impossible: Certainly not.

Task on.

Friday, June 22, 2012

ALL the letters!!!!

Oh heavens be. After a 12 work day and coming back to the apartment full of friendly faces, I'm just about ready to hit the hay. So for this post, I would like to give a little update on the letter leader board.

As a side note, there have been some considerable delays in receiving letters on my end. My first week on campus, I received a package from home, and a letter from grandma, but I found out about a week and a half later that good old GAC decided to start forwarding my mail to Missouri instead of just letting me get my mail conveniently on campus. What a waste of stamps. Mom ended up collecting all of my received letters and sending them to me. So, here is the list of those currently leading:

Michelle
Hannah
Joe

All of whom are entered in the competition. And the other things I got in the mail today.

Mom
Grandma
Andrea
Ashley
Lily
Kate S

The letter competition is still open, but now you've got ground to make up. Get to it.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Themed Thursday 3: To Infinity and Beyond

THEMED THURSDAY!!!!!
Theme: Obscure Super power.

Details? What does this mean? Is this something that I already have and I'm just letting the greater population know how truly remarkable my talents are? Or is this something I'm looking to purchase on Ebay in the near future. Or a skill? Or a Chimp? (Scratch that last part)

I do know that cannot fall into the realm of traditional super powers. We're talking things like flying and leaping over tall buildings in a single bound, and wearing spandex-nothing common. And for those of you who think wearing spandex is not a super power of comic book lore (therefore common)--you haven't watched enough people in the mall. Get on that.

And here is my attempt at a stroke of genius. And I'm hoping it's one of those things where I just keep typing and the right ideas come to be as I go.

Usually my course of action for such occasions like this-where I'm desperately trying to brainstorm something in order to win a blog-off is a two step process. 1) Ask friends for input. 2) Just write shit down until something brilliant happens.

The results for step one are as follows:

Mariecus: Lying.... Just kidding!

Ava: Spaghetti noodle monster! You can shoot spaghetti out of your fingers and stuff!
Me: But why?
Ava: So you can always eat spaghetti-duh.
Mariecus: Yeah, and tie people up and shit.

Mariecus: Being annoying.

Thank you panel.

Here are the results of step two. Look mom, no hands!

The most useful power I could possibly possess would be the ability to some how manipulate time. "But that's cheating!" With a freeze ray, I could stop! (See what I did there?) That would give me ample time to get things done, I could sleep, read for fun during the school year, and even extend my 10 minute speeches just a little longer than usual.

But instead, I will settle for my second most useful power, Speedy Reader.  This is a practical tool for many aspects of my life.
Application 1: Lit Finder 2000.  I love speech, I really truly honestly do. But if there's any part of it I would rather just skip, it would be finding lit. I would likely kill to be able to find the right piece the first time. And I would use my powers for good! Think of all the time I'd save in the summer finding lit for other people too! I'm so nice. Sort of. But instead of spending 8 hours reading, searing for one 10 minute cutting (for me? about 600 words), I could find 30 pieces in that time! How miraculous is that? Speed reading to find the good stuff faster. And that way if I could read the entire book in 30 seconds (max) instead of spending all day.

Like this:

EXCEPT FASTER.

This could be useful beyond the world of speech. I mean, I could get my reading for classes done faster too. And who couldn't use that extra time?

So there you have it. The Super Power I wish I had.


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Emperor Has New Clothes!

And that title has nothing to do with this blog post.

I, sadly, don't have anything exciting to report about my life. There have been no escaped convicts, or escaped animals roaming the St. Peter flooded streets. In fact, the streets haven't been flooded at all-unless you consider registration a sort of flood. Then yes, impassibly high waters.

Biggest news: Justin won't admit he's a Hufflepuff. Sad but true.
In other news: No one believes I'm a Hufflepuff. I assume this to mean that I'm wicked good at transfiguration. What up.
But I have my name sewn into all of my clothing. That's an important feature of who I am.

And that's the life and times of what ever you call this. Word.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

No, That's Not the Lecture Hall. That's a Mechanical Closet.

Michelle has composed some fighting words including that of "Sass."

And let me say, I can win this and bake cookies at the same time. How do I know? Because I made home made Chocolate Chip Cookies in under 20 minutes today. From scratch. GET AT ME. Yes, that means that I came home, made some bad ass batter, threw those beauties in the oven, and pulled them out in under 20 minutes. Boom. And they were quite delicious (if I do say so myself).

Why the hurry for the cookies. Because I was hungry, don't ask stupid questions. Just kidding. We had our first family dinner tonight! What a delightful time. Over to Cadi's to play with the cats and have some grub and we each brought something. I brought cookies and we had a veggie platter (so healthy) and some chicken and potatoes. Noms ville. And then it was story after story and looking through Cadi's old yearbooks, and Ava rapping, and brainstorming. Just all beautiful things. Now if it wouldn't be so blasted humid everywhere, it would be magnificent. So let's hope that works.

In other news, life's good. I'm a busy little bee and volunteering strangely in unexpected ways to help with registration. And by that I mean that I help the lost looking individuals on campus find their way back to the herd. Or in some instances, show them class rooms in the building I'm in. Nice? You'd better believe it. Good Karma? I sure hope so. Likely to change soon? Sure thing.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Settlers of "Oh Wait, What's That?"

Settlers of Cattan.

It goes something like this: 

1) Take some cardboard, put it on the floor.
2) Take some wooden pieces painted in colors, and throw them on the cardboard.
3) Draw cards. (Don't ask me where we got any of these materials, we found them in a box)
4) Roll die.
5) Battle- this involves critical words involving the things on the cards and how best to use your wily vocabulary to finagle your needs from the minions around you.
6) Count things
7) Draw cards with other things on them.
8) Wait your turn
9) Glare at the person that seems to have what you want while you wait
10) Steal shit.
11) Repeat steps 2-10 until famine overtakes players.

I feel like you you get rewarded for other things? Like fashion? And best pie? But I didn't read the whole rule book (it has an index.... enough said) and quite frankly, the games I have the mental stamina for only have one of the required pieces listed above, not all of them. Games like

Go Fish-cards
Old maid-cards
Solitaire-cards
Jenga-wooden block things
Candyland-cardboard
A box-just cardboard there too
Kitchen drums-Ok settlers has none of these materials, but it's the kind of game I can handle. And by game, I mean my childhood. (I guess it does involve stealing shit...)

I didn't win. But I guess you knew that already by my in depth description of the game. 

Sunday, June 17, 2012

You can do it! Sort of...

Fun facts of life. I absolutely detest motivational videos/speakers. "But why Kelsey? They help a lot of people get out of their metaphorical funk and into a better life style." Because I have this gut feeling that I can blatantly bullshit the same quality of stuff and people will get the same amount of motivation. Get rich quick scheme? You bet. The trouble would be that after about every hour of "talking" I'd feel either the need to mock people, vomit, or wash my mouth out with soap. Woof.

Moving on. After an extensive day of waiting for people to show up to registration, managed to come back to the apartment and watch an incredibly classy movie. Jennifer's Body must be somewhere up there in cult movie heaven. A true gem.

The bald man is making me get up early tomorrow, so I'd better get some shut eye.

And to all of you dads and daddy-os out there-have a happy one.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Hop to it

When was the last time you climbed a tree?

Go ahead. Ask me.

TODAY.

BOOM. How did that feel? Yeah, I climbed that tree today... It wasn't exactly on the agenda, but it happened. So it went something like this. Kelsey's going stir crazy with waiting for really late people and having half of the apartment gone for the weekend, and so after a few grocery shopping moments, she decides to go for a walk. (I like that I've switched into third person there... we're going to roll with it) It's a nice cool dusk, the kind where you could have had a sweatshirt, or just been a little chilly. For the first time all week it's been dry enough (both in air and dirt) to make a walk seem warranted. So I drop off my groceries, and lace up my nearly destroyed converse, and head out for an adventure in the arb.

And what an adventure it was.

So I'm walking along... doobedoobedoo, and I start thinking about how sweet it would be if I could see how quietly I could walk. There is no one out here, and I'm crunching along on the gravel path, and then I'm tiptoeing around on the grassy shoulder, being all stealthy like. But that wore off pretty quick and I deviated from my chosen path to go wander around the meditation area and sit on a rock. Ladeeda rock sitting, ok enough of that. Moving on.

I'm wandering around, getting a little peeved that there is now gravel dust in my socks, and suddenly, there is a clearing... and in this clearing, there are trees. And I'm thinking, oh yeah, gonna climb a tree. So instead of attempting to focus and actually complete my walk uninterrupted by foliage, I caved and leapt into those branches. About 15-20 feet up I just stopped and looked out in all directions. Then, these two girls who I had heard talking from deep in the forbidden forest, starting walking up the path. Two options: 1) Scare the shit out of them. 2) Pretend to be Katniss hiding in trees and creeping on people.

2. Done. I just crept along the branch and watched. Much like the Cheshire cat. Grinning and staring, nearly giggling and all but disappearing. But they passed under my tree without anything super hilarious happening. Sort of worth it though.

After about 15 minutes in the tree, I made my way back down to find my second surprise of the evening. That's right, there are two parts to this story. There was a bunny in the path! But not just any bunny, a bunny AND A BABY BUNNY! The kind of baby bunny that you could hold-in-the-palm-of-your-hand-and-be-eternally-happy-because-it's-just-so-cute-that-you-can't-do-anything-else-in-your-life-ever-but-adore-and-coo-at-the-precious-baby-bunny.

I'm so smitten. They scampered off into the grass (I'm a cat whisperer, not a bunny whisperer. They are technically incompatible talents) and I skipped my way back home.

The end.

Friday, June 15, 2012

A Garden of Joy

I would like to kindly point out that Themed Thursday is a brilliant success. Such good ideas, such good things written and read. I'm loving every second of it.

So now that Thursdays have so much hype, what in the good name of goulash am I suppose to do with my Friday to top it off?

Answer: Probably do something other than what I did.

After my battle royale with print services (I won, don't worry. I'm not sure I made a ton of friends in the process, but there's this thing called "getting your shit done" that I sort of prioritize), and putting up the much later printed signs, I came back to the apartment and rested. Then the sneaky Ava convinced me to go to El Agave-the delightful Mexican restaurant in town, and then to watch Zoolander whilest playing with the cats. So that portion of my day was remarkably successful. However, the beginning 3/4 of it was pretty worthless. It's hard to accomplish much with the electricity turned off on your "office" so that you can't even get in the building, and print services taking a spa day in the back room. Displeased. But it all turned out ok.

We have also begun here in the apartment, a "quote" wall (to use the vernacular) of the splendid things said in an around this location. So far we have 4 star stickynotes, and 2 flowers (back tracking, you know) but I envision this to be covered with memories and laughter.

Side note, a giant massive congratulations goes to all of those beautiful individuals at the HS National Forensics League Tournament. Your accomplishments are incredible and will be remembered by your peers, your coaches, and your alma mater. Continue to find passion to do what you love, in college and beyond.

And now, I think I'm going to reward myself with extra sleep. Look at that for a Friday night champion lap.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Themed Thursday 2: Pants on the Ground

THEMED THURSDAY!!!!

The task this week was to used 500 (ish-I'm an English Major) words to tell the story that begins:


“After class I was sitting in the school bathroom and suddenly, the lights go off.” 

I'm sure Michelle has already finished in true form, so there you have it.

Ready? on your mark, get set, GO.


After class I was sitting in the school bathroom and suddenly, the lights go off. And I’m thinking, ok use problem solving skills, this could mean one of the following things: 1) Moaning Myrtle got crafty and flipped the switch. 2) Someone is going to be awarded the jackass of the day trophy. 3) The power is out due to the torrential storm. 4) My mind powers are working. (not that I was thinking-turn off the lights, but that’s definitely what I was thinking this morning when my mom flipped on the flood lights pointed at my face after my alarm went off. Maybe it’s like some sort of delayed reaction.) (This will require me to also practice seeing into the future…. Poop.)

But the real question is, HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?! Someone/weather gods, literally caught me with my pants around my ankles, and I’m thinking, well, I thought that was a euphemism old men use at Lutheran brunches to make their hunting stories sound adventurous. So now, what do I do? Quite frankly (my dear I don’t give a damn) I am not so familiar with this bathroom. And you know how you usually use the same bathroom around the same time because you naturally develop some sort of pattern to your otherwise chaotic life? Well, I deviated from this pattern and it came back to bite me in the ass.

Maybe I should explain.  There’s a real reason why I’m in the third floor of the library.  And I’m only slightly embarrassed to say that I followed my heart and not my head. Cupid has good aim, and he knows that I’m easily persuaded to do things that look smart, but aren’t. The reason that I came all the way up these stairs is that I found out that the “Plan to be Rich Men of America” meeting goes on here every Thursday. Well, you don’t just chintz on that sort of information, so I put on my smart glasses, a pencil skirt, and a scarf and enough make up to look intellectual, but casual, and curled up on the most prominent study chair reading a work of Russian literature I don’t understand (it was in Russian, ok?). Now this isn’t really an official club on campus, but damn, do they attract the right sorts of men-the kinds I’m interested in. Needless to say, those multiple cups of tea that I brought along with me eventually had to go somewhere other than my bladder.

And that brings you up to speed.

So here are the solutions: 1) play it casual and fumble around in the dark until I find the door, all the while keeping it calm, cool, and collected. 2) Scream for help and hope that one of the most attractive men of the PRMA comes to my rescue. 3) Take a nap (don’t judge me). 4) Draw enough attention to myself so that someone else has a good blog post to write.

Which do you think I actually did?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I Spy- But with Strangers

I know, I know. All of you are so excited for Themed Thursday tomorrow (and there's a good reason for it. Michelle and I have something splendid up our conjoined sleeves). But I will attempt to add a little bit of flavor to today's post just to even out your excitement for the week. I don't want you to get too psyched out on hump day.

I want an owl. (I swear this is going somewhere.)

So part of my duties as an assistant to the Summer Academic Programs Director is to check the mail. Makes sense. (PS, SAPD should be read in a "mustache" voice. This basically just sounds really hoyty-toyty. Use your imagination).  Naturally, Justin and I check our own personal mail boxes at the same time as retrieving the program mail. But I do say "check" and not "retrieve" because that's all we get to do is check. There's no point to bringing back what isn't there. [insert sad face here]. I have received multiple confirmations that the letters I sent the past few weeks have been accepted into the homes and hands of those to whom they were addressed-and that I should be getting replies. Oh I long for those splendid days of smeared pen over paper. Ah, those are indeed my favorites. Plus it should give me something to do in the evenings. I have yet to stumble on a suitable hat pattern that doesn't make me want to commit genocide.  Let's face it, I knit so I don't kill people-those kinds of aggravating patterns are counter-productive.

This is where the owls come in. I want an owl for two reasons. 1) To deliver my mail, that way I don't have to check it and be depressed all the time and I can just be really excited that my owl delivered my mail. 2) There's a sweet owl sweater pattern I found, but I want to knit a hat so it's just distracting. Boo. I mean Whoo....

Whooo brings me to the question Justin and I asked each other at lunch, "Who are these people?" The caf was simply flooded with all kinds of pimple ridden, braced out, and printed backpack wearing middle schoolers. Woof. (Not to be confused with Whoo, they are different animal sounds). And it turns out that Mormons flock where ever I am.

True Story. I live about 40 minutes from the exact location where Jesus is going to make his reappearance on Earth. Independence, MO. Look it up. So naturally, I assumed they just came up to MN to visit me! So far this theory appears to be less true, but I do have my hopes. My bigger concern is not what they believe (a Mormon just believes), but rather that there are so many middle schoolers. Ugh, those were some hard years amiright? There are approximately zero things that are good about middle school. I was lucky enough to have at least one phenomenal teacher, but quite honestly, that's the only thing I've got-and not every other kid can say that. There are hormones everywhere, and zits, and boys trying to be tough, and girls refusing to be civil (much less human), and more generally confused conniving adolescents who thrive on making each other miserable.

And all I have to say is God bless the teachers (and sometimes parents) who opt to put up with them.

I hoped that I had come up with a hoot for a last sentence to tie in the owl theme.

OH WAIT.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Indy 30

I'm going to spend about 2.5 sentences talking about the NFL tournament.

1) I wish I was there. Desperately.

2) I know some pretty bad ass people. Seriously. They are incredible. Everyone there in Indy is a boss. I'm impressed.

And that about sums it up. I'm going to go to bed now, and those Indy kids are sleeping soundly, dreaming of semi finals. I've finished with my latest baking project and I tricked Mariecus into trying a brownie before going to bed. I think they're decent. We'll check again in the morning.

Monday, June 11, 2012

"No Need for a Chair, I've Got This" or "Here Kitty Kitty"

The one thing that's always surprising is finding out that there's a latent lap cat. Usually cats are either prone to loving people and sitting on their laps as a constant need for attention, and then there are the ones that just couldn't care less what you were or were not doing. I was blind sided by Sophie today. Here I thought that Ira was the "Love me all the time no matter what" kind of cat, and Sophie was the "Uh, I don't want to be anywhere near you because you're scary and I want to look independent" sort.

My world is a lie.

Ira is still the love bug, but Sophie threw me for a loop. Before I had to work pretty hard to even convince her that I was nice enough for her to let me pet her once before she ran away. The next time I got her so that she would sit on the end of the couch while I petted her. And today, I could hardly get her off of my lap. She'd stay there for long periods of time, just letting me pet off handfuls of hair for minutes at a time. The she would leave for a few, and then right back at it. Basically I'm renting out my lap as a cat timeshare. When one is doing something else, I'm busy petting the other one. And vice versa. The only real downside is that it severely restricts my knitting, but meh, I'm not too worried. I've completely given up on that pattern and am in the hunt for one that isn't written in hieroglyphs and smears of fecal matter. (sorry that was a little abrasive. I'm only kind of bitter. Is it that obvious?)

Back to the point, I'm the official cat whisperer. I figure if I can convince the most elusive-you will probably never meet her because she's scared of everything-cat to be a lap cat, I really should just go into the business. Oooo, new profession, lion tamer. I'm obviously cut out for the job. I already travel with odd groups of people across country in funny vehicles listening to cryptic music while wearing out of the ordinary clothing, and I have a way with feline friends. Lion tamer makes the most sense.  Why haven't I thought of this before. Uh, what a konk head.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Tragic End of Smokey Twlight-the Bear from Bath and Bodyworks

When it rains, it indeed does pour. Holy cats and dogs of the thunderheads. And I'm the kind of person who gladly frolics in the rain when the opportunity presents itself, but you'd better be packing scuba gear for this kind of storm. We're talking more than cats and dogs falling from the sky, this is a whole zoo and a wildlife sanctuary on top of it. Seriously. We don't have vast windows in our apartment, and due to being at the end of the hall there's this funny little alcove thing that basically keeps our room hidden from everything except the bicycle rack, and it was serious business watching this storm blow in. Bring your poncho and your hip waders, you are going to get wet.

Which brings me to the point where I have to go out in this downpour. [Note: part of the following paragraph with be overly dramatic. Please read accordingly]. Remember the dog sitting gig? Oh yeah, well there's one more pooping party to go for the day, and it's to the point in this storm that I'm thinking, "Hmmm...the benefits of getting drenched.  I could walk over there.. that way it wouldn't matter if I got wet taking the dog out. Or I could drive the block and a half and attempt to save a few square inches of clothing to wipe the rainwater from my eyes by the time I get back. I opted for the drive and a miracle.

This is the point in the story where God took pity on me and said, ok fine, but you'd better be nice. So the rain slowed to a more realistic thunderstorm pace and I took the dog outside. Nothing too exciting there except I still got wet and it's a good thing I wore flip flops instead of real shoes.

Now for the tragic scene. Since there was just no feasible way to get any suitable dog exercise in the house, Rudy did something unforgivable. She slaughtered the closest bear. Not a real bear, but in the imaginations of the children this could have been the most ferocious bear in all of Yellowstone. But alas, this smallish dog really go the better of him this time. I heard this strange noise coming from the sun room. And not sure where the lights were, I looked to see Rudy, in ready-to-play position, stuffed animal between her front paws. Oh. No. Uh.... "Rudy...(warning tone)" and this escalates into me running around the house trying to convince the dog that this bear was not in fact a dog toy, and rather should have belonged to me. Time elapse cameras would show something a long the lines of a blur of two figure running after each other followed by extremely intense staring contests.  After several minutes, I managed to distract her long enough to rescue the now deflated carcass of the once pleasantly huggable bear. Poor Smokey. Just not a good day. I do hope that this hasn't crushed the dreams of the youngins of the household.

The moral of this story is don't leave your shit where it doesn't belong.

Or what I'm going to take from it.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Read or Not to Read-Revelations of a Pet Sitter

I would like to call this the day of the ark. Not because I'm collecting pairs of animals, but because I seems to be taking care of them. Take care of ALL of the animals! From Kris's dog Rudy, to the pair of Cadi's cats, it's been a fur filled day.

After an early morning with Rudy in the company of Justin Feit, I managed to hang out around the apartment for a bit and write a few letters. Which reminds me, if you want letters, speak now. Then back for an afternoon of fetch and dog wrangling.  To Econo for grub, dinner and some Farkle (yes, all very exciting) then to see the felines and watch a movie and one last time to check on the canine. 

I'm not saying but I'm saying that cats are the way to go. I love dogs, I really do. But the cats honestly couldn't give the rear end of a mouse whether you were there or not. The dog on the other hand, cannot possibly function without your attention and effort. Low maintenance is really more my style. Leave, stay, pet the cat-don't pet the cat, whatever floats your boat. Not so with the dog. You'd better figure out when you can be there so that you don't have a terrorized house, or a really unhappy puppy. Just saying. 

And that's about what my life is going to be like tomorrow too. Throw in some laundry and maybe another letter or so, and it's pretty rock solid. Living the dream, you know, being a Hufflepuff and all. 

Friday, June 8, 2012

"And Sheets With Holes in Them...And Regular Sheets"

I'll admit it. I caved. I'm actually playing Pottermore. And if you're not familiar with this advent of my childhood breaching its way back into my daily life, it works like this: children of the 90s and regular children get to play an online computer simulation that gives you inside information about Harry Potter and what JK was thinking at all hours of the day. This, of course, is done through becoming, essentially a HP character-getting a wand, being sorted into houses ex cetera, ex cetera, ex cetera. (Name that musical for 10 points) (Ten points to Ravenclaw!)

But here's the big ticket item. I've told you that I've started playing, now you're intensely curious as to what I have for a wand, and what my house is right? I thought so. Well, my wand is English Oak with a Unicorn core. It means a lot of things ok? Deal with it. And [Drum roll please] "Who has two thumbs and is a Hufflepuff?

I'm a Hufflepuff!"

Surprised? Me too. I figured something more in line with my intense sense of honor and loyalty-Gryffindor. Or my extreme intelligence and love for books-Ravenclaw. Or my competitive edge and keen sense of plotting-Slytherin. My Hufflepuff traits are as follows: I always have the best lines, I make people laugh, and I do character pops?

Yep. That's all I've got.

Well that and this video:

Top notch cinema, really. Hufflepuff is obviously the highlight of the clip, so I'm the life of the party? I have an intense knowledge of random semi-mostly non-hostile magical creatures like house cats? I think house-elves are the shit?

Basically all things that describe me to a T. Good work JK and your magical hat of the sorting, you know me too well.


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Themed Thursday 1: If I were a wall, I would be....

Yes, you heard right. It's Thursday, and that means BLOG FOR YOUR LIFE day. Otherwise known as Themed Thursdays. As you well know, I'm in a fight to the finish known as a blog off with Michelle. And you should read that... Because you're smart enough to read, and you deserve to be amused.

But the point is that today, of all days, is a themed day. This means that we write on the same topic, and you (the people) get to form a more concrete opinion about who should be the winner in this gladiatorial battle to the verbal death.

Today's topic:
What is your ideal living room wall?

Well I'm so glad you asked. Like Michelle, I too love a good splash of color. Something warm, inviting, and comfortable. I also adore the idea of a one wall accent, so naturally, my favorite wall in the living room would be that accent wall-do you follow me? So something warm, fun, and can be a highlight of the room without over powering things. And that for me means red. Red? Why red? Well, I'm a Rothko nut, so something about that... and I think it makes a room feel warmer.  That in conjunction that when I read or knit, I'm bound to end up bundled in a blanket, it's only logical that I give myself at least the benefit of the doubt that it's warmer in the room with a red wall.  Something like... This


But forget the strange stick thing, and replace with fun things like pictures! Lots of pictures. If you know me, you know that I love to scrapbook and make all kinds of memory things. So those should definitely replace the birch theme here. They can be on the wall, in funky frames, around the mantle and such in nifty patterns and designs. The other idea that I love (and I'm not sure how this will all carry out yet) is with my love of words. To have maybe some kind of calligraphy of words on the walls. Not the typical-"Family" or "Love" but actual quotations.  Short and sweet, but it could be very cool if done right. I'm just brain storming. 

I'm also thinking lots of things that are home made. Not overly so (no one wants to feel like they've been out done, or under-creative) but things like books, and end tables, and creative arrangements of things that make a place look lived in and homey. Catch my drift?

I'm thinking of the kind of room where I would love to curl up in an over stuffed chair with a book, or my knitting on a cold winter night and stay for hours. And if you feel like the same kind of evening, you just drop on by. We'll have a dandy time knitting or talking, or just laughing until our abs hurt. 

Michelle and I will be there. And we're cool.



Wednesday, June 6, 2012

BINGO! DOUBLE BINGO! (What does it all mean?)

Your worlds have just collided. Currently in the most invigorating blog spectacular we've seen all year, the two competitors are Skyping. Right. Now. So basically, this vision of tormented art director-type is regaling me with her days of joy and woe. It's just the best thing that could possibly happen after Bingo.

OH WAIT.

That's it. I went to Bingo. Jealous? You should be. After having such a splendid time making cupcakes, Cadi decided to venture off to Apple Valley to play a few rounds of fancy bingo. So with very little luck, dinner, and some good conversation-3 hours passed. And I didn't win a dime. I guess that's what you get when you play bingo. Oh well, we had a pretty good time, and enjoyed ourselves. Plus, what's a night away from St. Peter? That's a BINGO! Also, I would like point out that is there anyone who would be more exciting to watch bingo than Mariecus? Answer? No.

Fun fact for the night as this post waves you off to sleep: Bingo comes with an intermission. Things you learn.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Chances Are, You Won't Live to See it Again

What an eventful day. Truly. Did you know that today is an especially unique day? Ava enlightened us all as she informed us about the Transit of Venus across the Sun. Fun fact, so this is the only time this will happen in like, a super long time? For instance, no one alive has seen this happen (until today) and (technology permitting) no one will be alive to see it happen again. Look at that, you learned something today. Boom.

So Mariecus and I hiked up to the tippytop of Olin where some industrious nerds had positioned some telescopes to look at this strange occurrence. It was bright, there were a fair amount of people (I'll be honest, not a lot of them looked like people who would be fun to invite to a dinner party....  but maybe that's just me...) (Or maybe I would be the odd one out at their dinner party.... hmmmmm things you ponder when you see Venus cross in front of the sun).

But more exciting, was that after that I packed up part of my kitchen and ventured down to the center of St. Pete's and forced Cadi to shred zucchini. All in the name of cupcakes. Honestly. First we went for a walk, and I had to get some more fancy-ass cooking things like ground cloves (who cooks with ground cloves? oh well) and the rest of it. Then we made zucchini cupcakes. I realize I should have snapped some pictures, but the important part is that my current attire is covered in a lovely mixture of powdered sugar and cat hair. What a lovely combination? Yes, I thought so too.

Oh other big news, so Cadi has two cats. Ira and Sophie. Ira, is the love bug. He adores pretty much anyone and everyone who will even tolerate him. Consequently, he spends a lot of time climbing into people's laps and begging for attention in anyway he sees fit. Sophie on the other hand, doesn't like any people. She's terrified of everything, sudden movements-and she goes running. So, when any number of people are over, she's usually hiding while Ira laps up the attention in all of the laps. But, since I was over there baking, Sophie decided that it was ok and quiet enough to look around for a bit. So I talked to her for a little bit, and she didn't seem overly concerned by my presence. After a while of cooing and letting her figure it out on her own terms, she let me pet her. What a summer accomplishment. I now know that I'm not quite as terrifying as I originally thought I was. Good to know.

So cupcakes are baked (thanks Grandma for the recipe!) and I think I'm headed to bed.

Monday, June 4, 2012

"I'm a green jellybean"

Ah, the sweet smell of summer. And by summer I mean that point where you laugh so hard you cry and then laugh summer (it sounds like some-more ok? whatever).  And to start out this festivity, I got my keys! Huzzah, aren't we proud?

After a thrilling day at work and a festive gathering at Cadi's our apartment managed to have a few brief moments together, as well as enjoy the company of Matt. What an ideal situation. But I think the biggest news, was the history of Ava I heard tonight. Let me be clear, nothing is to be taken for indisputable fact. Use extreme caution when accepting stories from Alaskans.

For instance, I learned that Ava had a rapping career. You said what!?! Yes, that is what she said. And judging by the rhymes she spun, I'm sure short was an understatement. BUT, that's not the point, because this is to be a summer of adventure! And the only logical adventure is that we revitalize Ava's rapping career! Le duh. She may have gone by the name ATAR (Ava the Amazing Rapper) I think with a little respin, she could live up to her name! (Ava the Abysmal Rapper) Too much? You tell me the words you know that rhyme with blue.... If you have any, that's a good start to where we did tonight. I'm now going to finish the only rap I actually helped write (the first part of which is the title of this blog)

"I'm a green jellybean, I can be kind of mean, but when you drop me in the grass I can't been seen-because I'm green!"

BOOM!

Needless to say, I'm going to do the beat boxing. Don't look at me like that, I'm not that good either. But hey, it's all in the spirit of trying things. I mean am I right?

So here's the question of the day, "What are you going to try today?" Something new? Pull out the old violin and at least pretend? Imagine again? Give it a spin around the block, who knows what you'll learn.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Imagine a Beach-and Two People Hurtling Toward Each Other

Ah, the sweet sound of reunion.  It's the kind of thing where you won't and can't run out of things to talk about. This is where best friends come to come back. Where everything you say or do is acceptable, and great, and funny, and worth every minute of the experience multiplied by the number of times they are willing to listen to the story without complaint. That's what home is all about.

And naturally this little soliloquy is prompted by something else-that is Brittany. Now I haven't talked much about Brittany here, but there are two things you need to know. 1) She ranks in the top two hug-givers competition.  This is an extremely competitive sport, and it's remarkable to hold this position for so long, but if you don't feel loved after one of these hugs, you are made of gears, wires, and mold.  You essentially are emotionless and hollow if you don't feel loved after a Krutty hug. 2) She's also one of the top two most genuine and honest people I know. I know a lot of genuine people, and a lot of honest people, but she doesn't have a bad bone in her body. And plus side of all of this is that we could talk for decades. I kid you not, when Brio (for those of you who don't know me personally, that's a girls choir I sang in in HS) went to Austria, on the way back Brittany and I talked for 10 hours straight. No sleeping, no watching movies, nothing but talking for 10 hours. And we could have easily talked for another 10 without thinking twice. Those are the people in your life that you must keep around for as long as possible. And I'm not letting this one go! Our skype date was just what I needed for the first week of real work to begin. Plus, the obvious benefit of skyping her was that I also got to say hello to the rest of the family which is always a joy. Good people come with great families.  Good luck to Brittany as she goes on to teach her first class in the morning! Make those kids the smartest Physics kids in town.

Also, as a side note, the whole running along the beach thing has happened. But even more so, it will happen-when Michelle and I reunite this summer. It's going to happen, and the cacophony of talking that will ensue will astound the masses. (mostly because you're not supposed to talk in mass) (unless it's a chant) (see what I did there?) It's going to be magical. Regardless of the Pin vs Stumble debate.

So that was my day. Talking, getting frustrated with my knitting project (that damn hat) and living the dream. Ava moved in today, so the whole gang is here. Well, minus Mariecus who went home for the night (I'm all alone, so all alone). And tomorrow, 108 will be complete at last!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Switch ending!

Bloggy mc Bloggerson! Ok here goes nothing.

Accomplishments for the day: Make zucchini bread. And dinner. What. The bread turned out delicious. (there was some extra batter so I had to make some adorable heart shaped muffins) and dinner (more zucchini in a red sauce with red pepper) was also pretty good. It felt good to cook for a friend too. And I'll have plenty of bread for a while.

Ava shows up tomorrow, so that'll be an adventure. One more person moving into the apartment! Huzzah! And that's about all that's happened. OH grocery shopping. I went grocery shopping. Quite the feat considering the dough (get it? I made bread) I spent on it.  Woof. St. Peter you're killing me. To be fair I bought spices and sugar and flour and all that basic cooking ingredients that allow you to make anything. So it needed to be done. Still!

Let us chat for a few moments about the interests of "Stumbling." No I'm not talking about just falling on your face, although that's amusing too. I'm talking about the website that allows you to mindlessly search the internet for days without you noticing the clock. I try to avoid such habits during the year, but this summer, I'm made of time. (I mean come on, cooking, stumbling? What else do I have to do? NADA). If you've got the stamina and you have the crave for all kinds of random information, do it. You'll be entertained at the very least.

And with that, I think I'm gonna go read a book.

Yep, just like that, advocate for the internet and volunteer to read instead. I'm a tricky one.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Shout Outs and Drownings

Hey Sonja, I've got a surprise for you.  And no, I'm not going to tell you what it is here, but it's good, Mariecus approves. (I also know you are giving me that look right now-Mariecus did a spot on impression, so don't deny it).

Past that, another shout out to those of you reading this in Russia. I still think this is awesome. There are people in ten different countries that have read this blog, and to those people I say-you rock.

Moving on. I did something dumb today. And I mean besides the time I spent with a table, of what was determined to have 6 college degrees sitting around it, figuring out a Happy Meal Toy. That's a true story. I mean I didn't actually get the keys to my new dorm. I know, what a konk head (props Nick Herink). But it's ok! Mom, don't panic, Mariecus is the greatest. I might go check the SAO desk in the morning, but I'm not too worried.  I'll stick with my buddy (see? the buddy system works in college too! And not just kindergarten visits to the art museum)(yeah, no one wanted to be my buddy then). The other thing you can assume by me not finding the time to get my keys is that I was working so extra diligently hard all day that it didn't even occur to me to do anything other than the task in front of me. That's good right? And besides, the day just flew. Getting back to a familiar place, talking to the familiar people, learning some new ropes, and cutting some others. There was laughter, food, fun, friends, and focus. Lots and lots of focus. And shit got done. Who is going to argue with that?

And I think I'm going to call that a wrap. All moved in, killed the spider that I found in my water bottle (not my friend anymore), got keys to other buildings just not the one I live in, and had some fun. What a winning day.